


Upon Ourselves

by entanglednow



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-12
Updated: 2008-11-12
Packaged: 2017-10-23 00:46:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/244401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entanglednow/pseuds/entanglednow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are we pretending we don't know each other?" Captain Hammer says smoothly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Upon Ourselves

You make the wrong decision. Just one, and everything that happens afterwards just takes you further and further away from that moment where you had a choice. And nothing is ever the same again.

You end up living in the aftermath. You end up living in _your_ aftermath.

Or sitting in a park staring up at your nemesis. Captain Hammer doesn't say anything for a long moment, he just stands in the wind, he looks briefly surprised to find Billy there, a narrow cold shape on the bench overlooking the pond, but then his expression shifts into something not so easy to define.

Dr. Horrible is the reason Captain Hammer has a new wariness about him. He's the reason he doesn't throw himself into danger any more. Because he thinks he broke him in a way he wasn't prepared for. Cracked him open, and made him feel pain. He thinks Captain Hammer _hates_ him for that. But he's not Dr. Horrible today, he fought his way out from under the red coat and came out in his own clothes, breathing cold air and holding his hands inside his sleeves in a way that makes him think maybe it's been too long. Too long since he was _himself_. But he hunches in on himself all the same, not entirely certain Captain Hammer won't take the opportunity to make him pay anyway, that what he's wearing won't matter. That all Captain Hammer will see is what he _is_. Which is a trick, considering even Billy doesn't know what he is any more. And Captain Hammer is...different.

There's a strange frustration to him now, something lost and human that Billy thinks is maybe even more dangerous than before.  He's not quite the man who followed the rules, who was arrogant and righteous and simple. Captain Hammer confused and wary and angry is another beast entirely.

Captain Hammer sits down next to him. Billy tips his shoulders in further, tries to pretend that he isn't protecting himself against...the threat of anything. Trying to pretend he could just get up and walk away.

"Are we pretending we don't know each other?" Captain Hammer says smoothly. In what Billy thinks, in what he's _always_ thought, is an overly dramatic tone and volume.

Billy, for lack of anything to say, shrugs.

"I think it's a little late for that don't you?" Captain Hammer shifts on the bench.

"What do you want me to say," Billy asks quietly.

Captain Hammer looks him up and down, as if he's disappointed that he hasn't come dressed for the occasion. Like _this_ is his disguise and Captain Hammer thinks less of him because of it.

Billy doesn't care what Captain Hammer thinks of him. He's not sure he cares what _anyone_ thinks of him any more.

"You always have bruises of some sort." The words are quiet, and more considering than amused, like bruises are something Captain Hammer doesn't understand.

That's new as well, Captain Hammer used to ignore things he didn't understand.

"Though I didn't do that one." One of Captain Hammer's hands, the rubber cold against his skin, catches his jaw in a grip that would have been a shade too tight even without the bruise.

"Don't -" The fingers tighten and Billy lets the rest trail off in a quick noise of pain.

"But some people would say a beating is only what you deserve after what you've done. And you haven't been protesting too hard lately. Making trouble where I can find you, sticking around for the bit I enjoy."

Billy twists in his grip and Captain Hammer surprises him by loosening his hold.

"I think _you_ think you deserve it too."

Billy swallows past the lump in his throat. Because Captain Hammer has no right, no right _at all._

"I don't -"

Hammer pulls on his chin and Billy's hiss of pain is crushed under the unexpected press of Captain Hammer's mouth. He's too surprised to do anything for a second. But then he has both hands on his chest, fingers slipping on the fabric of that irritating shirt and pushing. Hard enough to make his wrists ache.

He always forgets how strong Captain Hammer really is. He's released abruptly, lips briefly numb where they were pressed back against his teeth.

"Don't," Billy's voice shakes alarmingly. "Don't do that."

Captain Hammer frowns at him. "You're evil, aren't you supposed to let me, aren't you supposed to want things like that?"

It's a breath closer to actual question, rather than taunt, and Billy shakes his head, one confused jerky movement.

"No." A brief, energetic gust of wind steals his breath, and when it's gone he can't remember what else he was going to say. Can't think of anything to say instead.

The pause is too long.

"You're wallowing in your own misery then, by yourself? Or are you just a few steps away from seeking revenge." Captain Hammer seems to consider both possibilities while he looks at him, fierce and unhappy. "It's not like I don't have a bunch of other stuff to do. Hoards of women prepared to throw themselves at me. It's amazing how much sympathy sex you get when mad scientists kill your girlfriend."

"I didn't kill her!" Billy says fiercely, the words are out before he realises it, tight and shaking. "You killed her, you killed her and -"

There's a hand round his throat and he can't breathe at all.

"Is that really what you think happened?"

Captain Hammer squeezes. Digging his own fingernails into Hammer's forearm just makes his fingers ache and the world goes grey at the edges.

"Is it?!"

Billy has no breath for words, nothing at all, he makes a strangled desperate _noise_ in his throat, but Hammer doesn't let go, and Billy is half terrified for a second that he won't, that he's going to choke him to death _right here_. And that thought, that thought is enough.

"No," Billy manages.

Hammer lets him go and he's coughing and dragging in air while his eyes water. There's a noise on every exhale that he refuses, utterly refuses, to name as anything other than a search for breath.

"You think you need to be punished too, for what you did, for everything you did, and I'm more than willing to take the job."

Billy's cold and he's tired but he can still feel the threat under the words, something that should scare him half to death, something that tells him maybe he can't _ever_ take the suit off after all.

If Hammer had just left it at that, he might have been terrified.

But then Captain Hammer touches him, one brief, confused gesture and Billy stops breathing completely. When he looks up the expression on Hammer's face is strangely defensive. Billy thinks maybe he broke Hammer in ways he didn't even realise. And he doesn't know what to do with this, doesn't even know what it _is_.

He's forced to draw a shaky breath and the hand is gone, pulled back into the fierce, aggressive fortress of Captain Hammer's personal space.

Billy can't think of anything to say.

The wood shifts under Hammer's weight when he gets up, when he strides off past the Merry-go-round full of laughing children.

He leaves Billy on the bench, confused and shaking.


End file.
